Gym Class Hero

Yesterday I went to the FISH FRY with my brother, his wife, and his daughters.  It was at the church where I went to grade school.  I LOVED the Fish Fry and you can bet your ass I'll be back next week!  Speaking of betting your ass, I forgot all the cool things about Catholism like- all the gambling, ice cold beers, (I'm going to stop right now and tell you my mom is going to HATE this post.  Sound off in the comments, mum!), and people who are especially really sweet and nice because of how they love God so much and stuff (but hate gay people?!).
I guess my brother goes to this church all the time and doesn't get childhood memory flashbacks.  But I haven't been there in a million years and when I entered the gym, I was flooded with memories of gym class.  ugh.
I hate freakin frackin sports! I absolutely love, and have always loved, working out.  When I was little we had this record, Mousercise.  Sometime in the 80's, I bought a Cindy Crawford workout video with her awesome trainer, Radu, and did that all the time.  OMG, they're still selling it!  & it has 5 stars.  I need this again.  I miss you, Radu!  Here it is: Shape Your Body
In gym class, I could kick anyone's ass at sit ups.  Guess how many arm circles I could do?  Probably a million.  So, fitness rules! is the point I'm trying to make here.
HOWEVER, in gym class they insist you play sports.  And all your peers freakin love that shit. 
For some reason I couldn't/can't/won't grasp the rules, which are INSANE, or why people even play sports.  Like I need to run where? when?  why?  Why am I "out"? SCREW THIS!, etc
To me, it's awful and terrifying and pretty much always there is an object being hurled at you very fast.  I got hit in the face a lot.  I don't know if my reaction time is slow, or I had a hard time paying attention since I thought everything was so boring and pointless and dumb, or if I needed glasses or what.  All I know is a male is hitting a ball with a bat as hard as they can and I am supposed to catch it?  Ha!  I will not.  I will gallop off in the opposite direction like any sensible person should.
When we played around the neighborhood my position was always "ghost on first" and I still don't really know what that means & I sat out the rest of the time. I was always picked last in gym class -and no judgement there on my classmates because I get it.  You do not want me on your team.  I will space out and climb a tree if there is one nearby.  Or, more likely, space out and get hit in the face with a ball and your team will lose and for some reason that is something you feel passionate about not happening.  Wouldn't want to lose the game.  That would be awful and terrible and so upsetting.  YAWN.
My gym teacher hated my guts and I seriously wanted to fist fight her.  She was always threatening me that I wouldn't go on to the next grade if I didn't pass gym and I was always like, "Shut up you psycho". 
One time we were doing the President's Challenge stupid thing and we had to race back and forth between 2 erasers and I did & put my all into it because I wanted a terrific ranking and after I was finished, she made me sit in the corner for being bad.  Like, she thought I was joking.  But I wasn't!  I will still only treadmill in my home because I don't know what the hell that was all about. 
Oh, and one time, Kevin Kyde (that's right, I'm putting him on blast) took his hockey stick and shoved it in my eye when we were fighting over a puck.  It was a rare occasion where I was acting  like I actually gave an F-word and I wanted the damn puck and he shoved his stick in my eyeball and I still have the mark on the white part of my eye and SPORTS ARE INSANE!
I'm really sorry about all the italics, bold, all caps, length, cuss words etc but this is something I apparently feel pretty strongly about.
Felt good to get all that out.
Have a great weekend! xoxoxo

2013 Superbowl Party Menu

So I'm going over to my man's house to watch the Super Bowl on Sunday and it's not really a party, per se.  Just a couple folks coming over because his living room is small and the boys want to be cozy when they watch it.  But, if you think that is going to stop me for one second to not make a creative food menu, you would be wrong.  Making food is my fav & so is creative crafty stuff so this is definitely happening.  Here's what I have so far.

Full Menu

Sweet Baby Ray Lewis Killer BBQ  (get it?  killer..)
Crabtree's Crabcakes
Ray Rice Krispy Treats
Gores S'mores
Flacco's Wacko Nachos




I'm a sucker for puns so the above menu cracks me up.
Here's the methods for all:

Sweet Baby Ray Lewis Killer BBQ:
I just nab one of those rolls of pork from kroger and pour in a bottle of Sweet Baby Ray's Brown Sugar BBQ sauce and cook on low for 8 hrs.  Put all the pork and liquid into a storage container & refrigerate.  Braised meat is better the next day.  The next day, scrap the fatty stuff off the top and shred and put the meat in in a pot with all the liquid and cook until the liquid evaporates.
Maybe some sauteed onions on top?
Bake some Kaiser Rolls and brush a little butter on top.

Crabtree's Crabcakes
Butter a skillet with a tablespoon of unsalted butter on medium heat, add 1/2 cup diced onions.
In a separate bowl, combine 1 lb crab meat, 1/4 cup dice red bell pepper, 1/4 cup mayo, 1/2 teaspoon of Old Bay seasoning, 1/2 teaspoon dry mustard, 1/2 a lemon (juiced), 1/3 cup of crushed crackers, & once cool- the onions.  Gently mix.  Form lil balls and dredge each cake in panko crumbs.
Heat 1/2 cup of canola oil & brown the balls for about 5-7 minutes.  Put a toothpick in and dip in remoulade sauce.

Ray Rice Krispie Treats
Melt 1/4 cup butter in a big saucepan on low.  Add 3 cups mini marshmallows and stir until they melt.  Remove from heat and stir in 6 cups of Rice Krispies cereal.  Press this mixture into a 2 inch buttered or sprayed pan or lined with wax paper.

Gores S'mores
2 cups Corn Chex & 2 cups Golden Grahams onto a large baking sheet.  Mix 1/4 cup of butter, 1 cup choc chips, 3/4 cup mini marshmallow in a bowl and microwave for 15 sec increments and mix every time until melted together.  Pour this mixture onto the cereal & gently mix until coated.  Sift powdered sugar & mix & sift, mix & sift.  Once cooled, mix in remaining mini marshmallows and 1 cup choc chips.


Flacco's Wacko Nachos
Gross, I hate cheese.  I'll just tell my mans this one is all him  ;)

I also have spray paint and an old coffee can so i'm going to do this for the forks/napkins:

*Shout out to my friendsies at work who told me player's names and food suggestions.  It takes a village.  hehehe

Sweet Molly J

My niece Molly is the sweetest little girl.  She reminds me a lot of her mama in that she is so sweet, very calm, and clever/reasonable. If you explain to her why she can't do a certain thing, she will listen attentively and then understand and agree with you and probably later coach someone else on the specific issue.  For example, once I was coloring with her in the play room and then heard her sister Anna shouting for me in the kitchen so I jumped up and went to the kitchen to see what she wanted.  A couple minutes later, I was confronted by Molly and the marker I'd left behind, which had no lid.  She showed it to me and explained how not putting the lid on it would ruin it.  BUSTED.  I tried in vain to explain that I'd been in such a hurry because I was worried about Anna, but, that was no excuse.
I've never really seen her fly off the handle, how kids will sometimes.  She has, like they say, an old soul.  An old and mature soul.
I like how I can see different positive family members traits in her.  Besides the qualities I mentioned above from her mom, she has a silly and goofy sense of humor like me and her dad.  She is laughing most of the time I see her.  She can be a tad sensitive like her Aunt Tina.  She reminds me of my Grandma Schulte with her ingrained celebration of her good looks.  She modeled better than America's Next Top Model in pictures as a toddler.  I wish my grandma was still around to give her good tips like never ever leave the house without lipstick.

Look at the fierceness in her eyes.  Take that, Tyra Banks!
She is the total little package and I think she's going to make this world of ours a better place.

Anna, my little hero

Anna is my sweet and sassy little niece (green hat).  She was born on 10-3 (along with her twin sister Molly, who I will blog about next.  Alphabetical order yo!) weighing in around a pound.  I think it was 1 lb 9oz, but, I’m not sure.  When I met her she was in an incubator that was covered in blankets.  If you moved the cover to have a look, alarms and bells went off that meant the minute temperature change was affecting her health somehow.  I didn’t want to look at her, I wanted to keep her covered and safe.

The doctors advised she had a level 4 (maybe it was 4..I have number amnesia) brain bleed and this might cause some issues for her later.  She actually might not be able to walk was the worst case scenario. 

At the time this news came in, I was dating a monster cheating bastard  fellow who didn’t have any legs and couldn’t walk himself.  I had reacted to hearing this about Anna with tears and anxiety but when I told my legless beau about it, his reaction was strange.  “That’s great!” he informed me in a sincerely cheerful tone that left me blinking in confusion.  He went on to tell me that he was coaching kids with cerebral palsy (which Anna was later diagnosed with) in basketball and they were the coolest kids he’d ever met.  He said he knew she was going to be cool too. While it would certainly be ideal for this baby girl not to deal with any struggles at all that was not the reality so I needed to deal with it and it would make her a stronger person in the long run.  This philosophy he had twisted my mind around and made me think differently about the situation.  I didn’t think doom and gloom.  My anxiety went away.   No matter what, Anna could do whatever the hell she wanted.

My job was to be as supportive and positive an auntie as humanly possible.

Anna is a tough cookie and a fighter since day 1.  Girlfriend walks all right.

In her short lifetime she has gone through more surgeries and procedures and therapies than anyone I’ve ever met. 

Every now and then I melt at the knees and my heart sinks when I think of specific things she has to deal with.  Like all the difficult surgeries.  Or seizures.  And I think it’s important to feel that way sometimes, about anything. It’s not fair!  It just isn’t!  Cross my arm and stomp my foot and feel the feelings of empathy but not wallow in it.  Feel it and then move on back to Positive Land where all things are possible.

Even this (try not to fall in love TOO hard):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LSbWSsG196o&feature=share

   

P.S. This video makes me feel like she spent too much time around Auntie Skippy in her formative years.  But it is so funny.

Ault Park

I love Ault Park. 
I don't frequent Cincinnati too much because I'm deeply terrified of driving.  But when I do go, I'm always impressed.  There is so much neat stuff in Cincy. .. like this park.
There is a quote I can't remember from a book about being aware of places that make you feel emotion.
This is a place that made me feel emotion.  Maybe it was because I enjoyed my company and the memory of the enjoyable and companionable time I had there. 
Maybe it is because it was beautiful.
There are tree gardens and exotic plants and Lazarus Lizards darting about. 
It was summer when I went and the sun was shining & it was not crowded.  Maybe Just a random person laying on a blanket reading a book on the grassy knoll here or there.  
The minute summer arrives, I'm packing a picnic basket and maybe a little Lazarus Lizard food and heading back. 

First Blog

So I decided to start a blog and talk to it like a diary because I miss writing in a diary. 

 This is me, beautiful as all get-out.

I just miss writing in general and everyone is doing it so.  So, I'm going to too.

I'm into Live-Blogging award shows and I'm into Holistic Medicine and Health & Beauty.  

I want a dog really bad.  I have PCOS.

I have 3 nieces who mean everything to me.  Every. fing.

Well my break is over at work and the person I am training is looking at me for help so that's all for now.  Just getting that first one out of the way.

But I'll back soon to talk in great detail about my personal life and relationships and all that other stuff I mentioned above.