Thursday, January 24, 2013

Anna, my little hero

Anna is my sweet and sassy little niece (green hat).  She was born on 10-3 (along with her twin sister Molly, who I will blog about next.  Alphabetical order yo!) weighing in around a pound.  I think it was 1 lb 9oz, but, I’m not sure.  When I met her she was in an incubator that was covered in blankets.  If you moved the cover to have a look, alarms and bells went off that meant the minute temperature change was affecting her health somehow.  I didn’t want to look at her, I wanted to keep her covered and safe.
The doctors advised she had a level 4 (maybe it was 4..I have number amnesia) brain bleed and this might cause some issues for her later.  She actually might not be able to walk was the worst case scenario. 
At the time this news came in, I was dating a monster cheating bastard  fellow who didn’t have any legs and couldn’t walk himself.  I had reacted to hearing this about Anna with tears and anxiety but when I told my legless beau about it, his reaction was strange.  “That’s great!” he informed me in a sincerely cheerful tone that left me blinking in confusion.  He went on to tell me that he was coaching kids with cerebral palsy (which Anna was later diagnosed with) in basketball and they were the coolest kids he’d ever met.  He said he knew she was going to be cool too. While it would certainly be ideal for this baby girl not to deal with any struggles at all that was not the reality so I needed to deal with it and it would make her a stronger person in the long run.  This philosophy he had twisted my mind around and made me think differently about the situation.  I didn’t think doom and gloom.  My anxiety went away.   No matter what, Anna could do whatever the hell she wanted.
My job was to be as supportive and positive an auntie as humanly possible.
Anna is a tough cookie and a fighter since day 1.  Girlfriend walks all right.
In her short lifetime she has gone through more surgeries and procedures and therapies than anyone I’ve ever met. 
Every now and then I melt at the knees and my heart sinks when I think of specific things she has to deal with.  Like all the difficult surgeries.  Or seizures.  And I think it’s important to feel that way sometimes, about anything. It’s not fair!  It just isn’t!  Cross my arm and stomp my foot and feel the feelings of empathy but not wallow in it.  Feel it and then move on back to Positive Land where all things are possible.

Even this (try not to fall in love TOO hard):

P.S. This video makes me feel like she spent too much time around Auntie Skippy in her formative years.  But it is so funny.


  1. Very Cool blog!I love it!

    1. I agree Anonymous! It is my favorite blog of my life I ever read