Sunday, June 30, 2013

Baby Skates (have tissues ready)


When I was a little girl I got this doll, Baby Skates.
Aptly, I named her Baby Skates.
She was amazing and I loved her with all my heart.  I would hold her up in the air and spin around and sing the Baby Skates jingle from the commercial. She fell down more than she was able to successfully skate. But, as her adoptive mother, I spent hours patiently helping her practice in hopes to one day get it right.  My brother would laugh at it because...well, because a skating baby is kind of funny I guess.  But that enraged me and only caused my bond with Baby Skates to grow even tighter. 
One day after an especially tedious skating/falling down session I thought, "Gosh my poor darling Baby Skates worked so hard today.  She could probably really use a glass of water."

So I poured a glass of water on her face.

And killed her.

That's right, the water went into her inside parts and she broke and then she was thrown away.

R.I.P. Baby Skates
circa 1983
Gone but not forgotten.

Sunday, June 16, 2013

Pops

When I think about my dad I get a big smile on my face.  He is a good person and really, really funny.  He is a good ol' boy with country roots.  He is a Covington Cowboy.  He likes to hunt and fish and when I was little and had a pet rabbit he would joke about making rabbit stew because rabbits are for hunting, not cuddling.  Come to think of it, that rabbit did disappear.
He is friendly to everyone and if we go somewhere like Auto Zone or something we will have left making friends with a couple strangers.  You know the type- just a cool person.
When I was in 3rd grade I made up a knock knock joke and sent it to the paper for their weekly make up a joke contest and he still thinks it was comedic genius.  Even though the newspaper didn't :(

Here it is, I'll publish it now:

Knock knock
Who's there?
Francis
Francis who?
Francis a long way from here.

Lolz????

Happy Father's Day Pops!  Love you!

Sunday, June 9, 2013

Don't Call it a Comeback

This morning I woke up HAPPY for the first time since you-know-what.  I didn't think that would be the case since I gave back the dog I was watching/in love with (okay, obsessed with) the day before.  Also, I had the recurring nightmare I keep having of this huge anaconda-sized snake that keeps trying to get me and is super slimey and slithery and can slither in anywhere and get me.  But, no, I sprung out of bed feeling absolutely tops.  Today was my mom's birthday and I made her this cake with toffee and choc shavings on top:
I feel like I haven't really cooked or baked in a while since clean living so I was excited to make that.  It was only kind of "clean".  I feel like baking/cooking is an expression of love and I'm always pumped to make stuff and then stare at everyone with bug-eyes like "Wee-e-e-e-e-e-l-l-l-l-ll??".
My family is da bomb and they make me laugh & it was a day I desperately needed.  I mean, does your family sing "Happy Birthday" and then break into Buster Poindexter's "Hot, Hot, Hot"? 

At dinner I was complaining about how I couldn't afford this dumb expensive doctor I have to go to and my little niece, Molly, was standing next to me and disappeared up to her room and came back down and handed me 3 quarters and 2 pennies that she'd gotten out of her piggie bank.  I tried to give it back, but, she assured me she had tons more like them and hugged me.  And then- boom- I was crying because I felt like I just got smacked in the face with Sweetness (& also I'm a sensitive, on-the-verge-of-tears-at-all-times freak..but still).
Here is me and the beautiful Birthday Girl:

I love you Mama! 
















Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Bitter...Party of 1

The conversation I just overheard was two men talking about the movie Magic Mike.  One guy told the other, “I don’t know man.  If there was nothing else on, I’d probably watch it again.”
That made me giggle.
I’m absolutely into overhearing this conversation.  Now they are saying Cabin in the Woods is really a good movie.  And so is Lawless.
Back when I used to want to get married, I would talk to this guy about when he was going to propose to his girlfriend, who he has a baby with, and he is always like – Meh.  And “No time soon!” and laugh while I gazed at him in distaste.  Then he asked how much he’s supposed to spend on a ring and I said well the “rule” is 3 month’s salary, but, I’d take a twist tie.  Just get her what you feel like you can afford. He said, “3 month’s salary?!!!”
He called over another guy (a mature looking professional man)and asked if he knew how much you are supposed to spend and when I told him he said, “No!  That’s A LOT.  Well maybe it depends on how much you make.”
“No it doesn’t.”  I said through clenched teeth.  I seriously personally do not care about a ring price at all but these guys were really making me feel like something was wrong here.
I just feel like the majority of men aren’t men anymore.  I feel like they are all like that Taco Bell guy. 

Just absolute numbskulls.
There’s some kind of stigma now that falling in love and getting married and starting a family is not the macho cool manly thing to do.  My mom said it was that way because of society and things like tv shows (i.e.  Married with Children).   I thought yeah maybe and then I asked a couple of reformed liar/cheaters why they used to behave that way and they said, “Society.  And I like rap music”.  And these people were being serious and my jaw dropped.
Marriage is a vow to stick together through anything and everything.  You are saying without a doubt in your mind I am the person who will always be there for you.  When things get bad you don’t walk away because you made this promise.  There is something to be said about being a part of a team like this.  Whether it’s being part of your ol’ football team or a family team or just a husband/wife team.  If you are part of a “team” (a marriage) you feel more committed, more valued, more stable.  There is also something to be said about being able to track your ancestry (which I take a lot of pride in my Irish and German roots)and family tree.
Like the institution of marriage isn’t honored anymore and that’s sad because I’ve seen many good marriages (my friends, my parents, my grandparents, my cousins,  my friend’s parents, etc) and they are incredible and it deserves respect.