Pump the Breaks

Yesterday afternoon my pal and I went to Findlay Market and the World's Longest Yard Sale and then we bar-hopped in the village for a little bit. It was FUN! The day was picture-perfect and I was so happy to be out and about and not at work. The only thing missing was a pup. I need a pup. I did find a pup later, but, it belonged to a bum and he absolutely refused to hand him over. When we were driving from Over the Rhine to Covington I balanced my checkbook which prompted me to become dismayed and then, almost immediately, the Problem Solver inside of me took over and I came up with a very intelligent idea. I shouted, "I know!! I'm a girl so maybe a guy will buy me a drink!" Question: Do guys still do that? Because no one has ever bought me a drink that I can recall. Like even when I've gone on datey things a long time ago, my cousin bartender would force the guy to pay like, "I put it on your tab because you are a man and that's what you should do" while I shrugged a couple of innocent shoulders. My friend doubted me and was under the impression that any girl can and will get a drink bought for her and so I demonstrated my typical bar experience. The first bar we went to, the bartender came right up to me and asked me what I wanted. Should I have said, "Nothing yet, I'm waiting for someone to buy me a drink" and then stare at all the poor strangers expectantly? Walk up to folks and tell them how thirsty I am? (I wanted to do that so bad) The next bar was jam packed with people who were equally not interested in buying me anything. I have watched Sex and the City and those girls NEVER buy a drink. NEVER. Guys are constantly buying them drink after expensive drink. What is the problem?! Do people buy YOU drinks, darling reader? Anyhoo, obviously if someone is going to buy you a drink it will not be because you are LOOKING for them to. That is not how it works and it is actually very bizarre behavior, which tends to be the kind of behavior I gravitate toward. And then something dawned on me which is that I have been aggressively trying to date someone and fall in True Love. Like hard core. I can't help it, I am one of those poor people who are desperately and completely and totally in love with love. How is everyone NOT that way? I want love more than I want a pup and that is really saying something! I am legitimately getting old now and my asshole birthday is looming closeby in the shadows ready to pounce very soon so I've just been so crazy lately I think. Like dating web sites and hitting on everyone and shoving myself in everyone's face and then when/if they DO ask me out I have a nervous breakdown and say nonononoonono. So, basically behaving like a deranged lunatic. Why am I doing that? I need to stop doing that! I'm going through some things and some stuffs is why. I don't cry every day all day long any more but I do...sometimes...cry. And sometimes things remind me of him and it is painful. STILL. As much as I would like to, I can't rush Time The Great Healer. But I do know that I am getting better and that cheers me along. So this is my vow, dear diary. I'm going to calm the hell down and pump the breaks and delete dumb dating accounts and stop pestering people so much and just relax and when I am ready, if someone wants to I will let them buy me a drink.