Sunday, July 7, 2013

The Betrayal at Camp Webb

Here's the thing about me-  I get really excited about dumb things.  I get freaking PUMPED and this is a problem because the majority of events in my life turn out to be crippling disappointments.  So when my older brother and sister went to Camp Webb and came back with stories (Fishing! Shooting guns! Archery! Swimming! Rowing! New friends!!!!), I couldn't wait to turn the appropriate age so I could go too.  And wait I did.  I waited 3 long years and and during that time I tried to talk my 2 good pals into going too.  One was just absolutely not going to budge about going and the other was like sure.  I would also spend my downtime at home with markers and big poster boards drawing different Camp Webb scenarios of Fun like me with a giant smile petting a baby deer, me with all my new best friends swimming in a lake, me in a rowboat with a big sunshine in the sky with my pal who agreed to go with the letters "BFF" written across the top of the page, etc.
Here's what happened in a nutshell- by the time I arrived to the bus that takes us to camp, my friend had made a new friend and cruelly rejected me as her pal at all.  Like this, "I don't want to be your friend anymore and this is my new best friend" and then they both put a couple of noses in the air and stomped off to sit together on the bus.  And you know what I did?  I cried.  I cried actually the entire time I was there.  And you know the best way to repel a bunch of little girls from being your friend or talking to you at all?  By crying.  So I was all alone and isolated the entire time and even though I've been fishing, shooting, swimming, and boating as long as I can remember I didn't win a single badge.  Wait a second, I did win archery but that's only because I was picturing my old pal's face as the bull's eye. 
So the moral of this story is don't ever ever ever ever go to camp, kids!
And, also, always make sure your friends aren't stupid.

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