Maybe like 13 or so years ago I was in line for the seafood buffet at Hollywood Casino or Belltera or somewhere (I forget which casino -it was many years ago) and my friend Sierra, who was actually only a vague acquaintance at the time I think, told me she wanted to write a book with me about dating. She said she knew I was a very good writer and that I knew everything there was to know about guys. I remember this very clearly because I argued with her about it in the long line and in a way it was one of my favorite and most treasured compliments as far as the writing aspect of her comment. "How do you know I'm a good writer!? I don't know shiz about guys!" I argued.
She said she knew I was a good writer because of the way I talk (isn't that a nice/strange compliment?) and I knew about guys because there was always a fellow that was sort of "into me" or whatever.
Sierra breezily says things sometimes that make you stop and think.
You know I kind of wish I would have jumped on that book idea. I've read blogs of her's since then and she's a beautiful writer. But I maintain that I do not know shiz about guys. I've learned a little though about relationships and I'd like to talk about it to you, dear diary.
I've dated a lot of people over the years and that is because I am an Old Wet Hen. When I was younger there was a lot of innocence in my relationships. I believed in True Love and Integrity and heavy drinking was not yet introduced into my lifestyle. It's endearing to look back at.
And then I had my heart broken. Again & again & again & again. The idea of True Love & Integrity completely disappeared from my life. I'm not saying that was anyone else's fault or that I'm not responsible for my broken hearts; I'm just saying somewhere along the line innocence died, y'all.
I used to work in a factory-ish place and I was the one and only girl that worked in the section I was in. I used to come into work and talk to the guys about my different relationships (tip: don't talk to other people about your relationships. Talk to the person you are in the relationship with. duh.). The guys would always be like "Meh, I don't think he's that into you" type of stuff but my favorite advice was when my co worker, Mike, who was previously a vacuum salesperson (sorry I just remembered that detail, like you care, Precious Diary) told me, "Look, here's the thing... when you find the right person, it isn't going to be this hard."
Another bomb dropped on me. A blown mind!
I think it really is that simple. When it's right, it won't be hard. And guess what? Then, after it's right and it's easy (think: not worrying about unfaithfulness, being yourself, enjoying another human being for being him or herself), you can bring back the innocence and the integrity. And that is the best feeling in the world and a beautiful place to be and don't you dare settle for anything less.