Wednesday, December 3, 2014

The Time I Posted my Nipple to the World Wide Web

Ok, so I bought a new phone and for the first time ever I can use all the apps everyone else has been using for years. My friend sent me this thing on SnapChat called “My Stories” and it was a bunch of pictures at once. Intrigued, I text him and asked, “How do you do that?”. He said, “When the camera is on do you see a little square on the left?”. Finished with my run, I hop off the treadmill and rip off my sports bra that is soaked with sweat, go to Snapchat and hit that square button and it doesn’t DO ANYTHING so it doesn’t SEEM like it’s taking a picture or anything so I just keep hitting the square button. It’s a front facing camera so I’m looking at an upshot of my face and I got annoyed with how unsightly this view was and I guess pointed the camera down (Remember, I just took off my sports bra) and I guess took a pic (but it doesn’t tell you it took a pic so I think nothing happened). A couple hours later, my friend texts me, “Wow THOSE are the pictures you chose for My Stories, which is on your cover for all of your friends to see over and over and over?” I responded, “?????????!!! What!” His reply was, “Nice face.” And then, “IS THIS A NIP?!” I didn’t know what My Stories was, but, apparently it sends to all your friends and DOES NOT DISAPPEAR like regular Snapchats until the next day or something. So he explains this to me and then says, “Man, I bet people are screenshotting this left and right!”. My friends on there had included people from work, my LITTLE BROTHER, a few vague acquaintances, etc. So then I tried to delete, but, it’s not possible. It’s not freaking possible! In my haste to get rid of them I accidentally started ADDING people. Omg. But then I just deleted my whole entire account and that’s the end and I feel like this story is one that is better in person bc I flap my arms around and get all worked up and stuff. In closing, I don’t think bodies are “bad” or “dirty” or something to be ashamed of at all. I tend to steer away from that unhealthy American way of thinking. A nip is a nip. But, I did get all worked up when that happened.. which is funny. Oh! Remind me next time to tell you the story of when I accidentally sliced off a bit of my nipple. It grows right back like a lizard's tail.

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