Tuesday, June 3, 2014
Ella..ella..eh eh eh
My niece, Ella (I will be singing her name to the tune of Rihanna's Umbrella song for the rest of her life. It's fine. She'll love it.) was born last Friday. Just like I suggested she be since I was busy every other day with this and that. When I was driving to the hospital I got choked up twice. When your sister is giving birth, the feeling is greater than just the bland word "excitement". It's a wonderful feeling that I am unable to describe to you. I hurried up at work and finished the morning stats that needed to be complete and was out the door at 10 AM. She didn't come until 6PM though! I spent the day eating, gossiping, making best friends with the giddy family in the room next door, reading, laying out on benches in flower gardens outside watching people with oxygen masks bum cigs (silently judging and then scolding myself not to judge), shopping in the gift shop, telling my poor mother that there would be no grandson or daughter from me actually thankyouverymuch sorryboutthat. I told her about some of my adventures in failing at romance to give her some idea on why this topic should never be broached ever again. The content of my description was so horrifying that I could tell that my point had fully registered with her. A moron text me as I was explaining things to my mom. An idiot text me. Right then. The dumb idiot said, "Hey pal! What are you doing??" My dad didn't see the issue and I explained that what this text means, essentially- if you read between the lines- is "Hi,I am back with my ex.". My mum nodded in agreement and said, "The word 'pal' is ve-e-e-ry telling." My dad suggested I write back and ask what was with the 'pal', but, I didn't feel like it. Who really cares. Pops folded his arms and wisely summarized, "Ya live ya learn I guess". Dumb idiots are like buses and if I just squeeze my eyes shut and cross my fingers and wish very, very hard, another dumb idiot will come along every 15 minutes. When Ella FINALLY made her arrival, I held her and rocked her and she fell asleep in my arms and holding her was like an easy massage for my soul. Here is my new content little baby burrito.