Friday, March 7, 2014
SheMan Male Haters Club
Every time something is floatin' around in my head I like to write about it. So, here we go. I was thinking about how when I was in my twenties, I never wanted to settle down with someone and I thought I never would. I think that's so weird compared to where I am at now. The reason why I was like that, I think, is because every time I was in a relationship, it ended pretty badly and in a blind-sided kind of way. Love used to be a pure, simple, happy thing and then it wasn't anymore. I was tired of relationships and the bad outweighed the good in my opinion. I decided to be a free spirit and at the same time formulated a damaging theory in my mind. This theory was that all men were cheaters. That love wasn't a real thing anymore. So, I spent a decade or so steering away from relationships like it was the damn plague and treating the men that came into my life like the scumbags I assumed they all were. When you treat someone like a scumbag, a lot of times that is how they will behave. In time, maybe that is how they will come to believe they are. I don't want to be a SheMan Male Hater. I want to treat all people with kindness, love, encouragement, and respect. Something changed in me and I think that's a good thing. I matured! Finally! I try to treat people delicately. Do I think all men are out to get me and destroy my life? Neh. I think you get out of relationships (all relationships- family, friends, etc) what you put into it. If you put in love and patience, that's what you get back. If you don't get that back, well then.. it's time to move along, lil' doggie. I guess to some extent if you expect a relationship to fail, it will. But there are also warning signs that I used to downplay and instead only focus on the good. (Example: Sometimes he doesn't respond to texts.. but he fixed the plumbing! That means he MUST love me. Bull-fucking-shit. If he's not answering texts, something is wrong that shouldn't be ignored. Period.) It took me awhile, but, I learned how to spot things I don't want- communicate to the person what I don't want- and if it doesn't change move the hell on and not look back. I've learned not to put up with nonsense that I shouldn't put up with. When your gut tells you something is wrong, you should always listen to it. Your gut knows. These days my gut screams at me "NO! WRONG! BAD! RUN FOR THE HILLS!". It all seems kind of simple now. Does that mean I'll continue to be alone for a long time? Probs. That doesn't bother me though because I'm looking for a quality human being who is right for me. Someone to make me believe that the good can outweigh the bad and I will always believe that it can.