Sunday, December 15, 2013
On my cell phone I still have a text conversation from 9/7 between me and my friend, Pam. Pam passed away on 9/7. The conversation is stupid. I asked her if she would work for me so I could go to Mike and Alex's wedding and she said "Yeah that's fine I will" & I said "WHAT!!;OMG OMG! THANK YOU!!!" I look at that dumb conversation quite a lot. I used to clear out my text convo's frequently and now I regret that because we had other conversations that were not boring and I would have liked to still have them. Gosh, I loved her. We worked at the same place in different departments since 2001 when I started. We were not pals originally. In fact, my first correspondence with her was in email and she got offended by my email because I said the request was urgent (well, it WAS..). After that, if I would pass her in the hallway I would have a big ol' cheese-smile on my face, like I do for everyone, and she would frown at me. Actual eye-rolling happened sometimes. That was like 12 years ago. After we became buds, I would ask her about it and she had no recollection of feeling any ill will toward me at all. About 4 or 5 years ago, a new department was developed at our work and they hired 3 people for it. I was a bit nervous when I heard Pam and I both got the job because I thought, "Crap. I'm pretty sure that woman hates me." Having a group of three people is a very intimate thing. You can't help but become close. And the three of us did. Sometimes in life you meet these special people that you connect with on a deep level and very quickly. And you think, "Why didn't we pal up sooner!". Pam was everything I love in a person. She was so funny. So sosoososo funny. Our sense of humor was the same and that is a rare jem treat I think. Over the years, any time I had an issue or guy problem or bad day or whatever, I would jet over to her desk to talk to her about it. She was like the human form of a hug. She was altruistic too. I felt like there wasn't anything she wouldn't have done for me or for anyone else she cared about. She was always there for me when I needed someone to talk to about whatever. She worked hard on being positive and she was so cute because she said she wanted to be positive like me. That's another thing- her genuine compliments will make your eyes water up. I loved her you guys. I know I already said that, but, I'm saying it again. I still sometimes kind of struggle with the fact that this is reality and she is no longer with us. But, in the spirit of being positive like her- I did learn a lot from this. I tell my friends/fam often that I love them and appreciate them and the reasons why I love/appreciate them. I respect life and the frailty of it. I think everyone deserves to have someone in their life that treats them the way Pam treated me and made me feel. My hope is that I can be like that towards the people in my life going forward.