Sunday, April 21, 2013

F Word

I've got the blues.  Or maybe the Mean Reds as Holly Golightly might say.  I remember when I was around 25-ish and all of my friends would get that "quarter life crisis" thing.  Like ahhhh what is my life and what do I want to do with it and blah blah. Everyone figured it out.
I feel sort of like that now.  Like I look around at my life and I'm depressed and angry and I want so much more.  It feels like I'm drowning and trying so hard every day to get my face above the water. But I never get anywhere and I'm tired of trying.
I hate that  have to work 2 jobs. I hate that I'm alone.  I hate that there's never any time.  I hate that there are so many people in my life that I care about and I don't have enough time to see anyone with all the other shit I have to do.  What I'm doing doesn't feel like living.  It's struggling for air.
I can't do it, keep doing it, alone.  And no one will hold my hand.

3 comments:

  1. Skippy we are always here for you. Maybe we need to schedule a Dickmann's meeting to talk. You are really sounding down and this has me really concerned so hope you take me up on my offer. You are such a beautiful, sweet loving lady and don't you ever forget that

    Berg

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Bergie. I'm okay, just got the blues.

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    2. Since she sounds depressed, possibly a Dickman's meeting is the last thing she needs. After all alcohol is a depressant.

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