What's Wrong with Me This Year

If you are my close friend or family member or co-worker, you may have noticed my health kind of sucks. It seems I am in the hospital more than your average bear. It's always around this time of year too. I am reminded of this, literally, by Facebook sending me my "Facebook Memories". Yesterday, it sent me a picture I had titled "Hospital Spa Day". I had the cucumbers from my salad on my eyes and I was laying in a hospital bed. I'd just had 2 surgeries on my heart. That was scary. They keep you awake through some parts of the procedure and your heartbeat is going 500 beats per minute while you are conscious. There is one person in the surgery room whose only job is to try to keep you from freaking out. I cried and begged to be put back under. It's that time of year again! I have been having unbearable stomach pain since August. I went to doctors and specialists many, many times (depleting both my emergency savings and my paid sick/vacation days from work) but no one was telling me anything helpful and didn't seem to be very concerned. They also did things like cancel a procedure a couple of hours before it was to take place and forgot to turn in one of my urine cultures (or apologize for forgetting to do that). Any way, last week I was at work and started having the severe stomach pain of which I was now very familiar. I typically had these episodes at home. Now, I was at work and my shift would be over in 10 minutes, but, I didn't know what to do. The pain was too much to drive. To make a long story short, my wonderful boss offered to drive me to the E.R. We made it about 2 blocks and another car wrecked into us. My stomach pain was so intense, I barely noticed we were hit and I barely noticed biting my tongue. I had a passing thought wondering why I chomped down so hard on my tongue and didn't feel anything. Do bodies only feel pain in one area at a time or something? Then I got out and threw up in the gravel by the side of the road. An ambulance came and took me to the E.R., where it was so busy that I was in the hallway as they gave me an I.V. of stuff to make me stop throwing up and then, morphine. Ten minutes later, I felt no pain. A half hour later, they found "a HUUUUGE kidney stone". That was a direct quote from the nurse, echoed later by the Doctor. It is 11 point something millimeters, if that means anything to you. It didn't really to me and the nurse explained that anything over 5 millimeters is too big to be passed naturally. The E.R. figured out the issue in half an hour and I have been seeking help elsewhere since August 3rd. I am having a procedure done on Tuesday to go in and "blast it" (another doctor quote). He thinks we might have to do it more than once. I am scared. Even if you are at the hospital on the reg, like yours truly, it doesn't seem to make it any less scary. I am also afraid of what will happen to me financially after everything is all said and done, to be honest. Sigh. Thanks Obama! In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I am thankful for the times when I am healthy and need to remember to eat well and exercise once I'm back in the saddle again. I am also thankful for my family and friends and Michael, who I love so much, and who make me feel the opposite of how some doctors can make me feel- which is like they don't give a flying f-word. I know I'm not dying or anything like that, but, these kind of problems that come up.. even though it overwhelmingly sucks.. it's a nice reminder that there sure are a lot of people who care about me and that makes me thankful and fills me up with love. I plan on recreating this photo Tuesday: