Saturday, November 8, 2014
I was just absolutely terrible at dating when I was fresh out of the gate. I had very little search criteria at first. I didn't know any red flags. It was basically- am I attracted to him? Sa-weet, let's hang. This laissez faire approach did not work out too well for me. If a guy ever asks you to "hang out" my suggestion is to decline, politely. (Unless you are not looking for a relationship in which case do whatever the f you want. I'm not your mom.) Anywaysies- Why does a grown adult man want to "hang out" with me? It's ludicrous if you think it through. A guy asked me to hang the other day and it happens so often and irks me so much that I may have snapped at the poor boy a bit because..I dunno..it's just so annoying. I said, "Are you asking me if I want to hang out with you as platonic friends?". He explained that he was just trying to start a conversation. I politely declined the weak, flimsy invitation. It's kind of insulting if you think about it. Asking to hang says to me that this person is thinking, "Hmmm I'm really not that sure about you or excited about you and I want to put as little effort into this as possible and I don't think you're deserving of an actual date where my intention is crystal clear that I am romantically interested in you. Fingers crossed you sleep with me though." Am I right or am I right? Is there another side to it that I am missing? Am I being bitchy? I can't help it, that's how I feel. I've always had trouble putting into words why that bothers me so much. So, I am happy I was able to now. Admittedly, I am a 35 year old woman and perhaps someone younger would be completely cool with the dreaded hang out. But, it seems like the acceptance could stem from naivety. If I could go back in time and tell a young Skippy not to waste even one second with someone who didn't treat her decent - really fucking decent- I would. I'd shake young Skippy by the shoulders too and maybe slap her around a little bit like you do when you're trying to get someone to snap out of it. Hang out. Pshhhhh. P.S. Maybe say "Want to grab a drink?". That changes everything and who doesn't want a drink?