Sunday, September 28, 2014

I Feel Like You Should Blast Kelly Clarkson When You Read This

HI! I have not written anything in a very long time and you know why that is? Well, for one thing my laptop was hijacked and for another- I've had very little to write about. That's a good thing! Because usually I'm like wah wah wah dating is hard and blah, blah, blah feelings. So, I've just been relaxing and taking it easy and it's been really, really, really great. I am really into not dating anyone and if I ever date anyone ever again, that person is going to have to really bring it, because, otherwise- WHAT IS THE POINT. Do I need someone giving me a headache and making me do things I don't want to do and giving myself magical hair mask treatments? Nope. Actually, hair mask treatments are fun. And it makes my hair shiny. So, that's fine, but, you know what I mean. Do I want to cock an eyebrow and study someone's face to try to determine if they are lying to me and then conclude that, yes, indeed they are? I really would not like to do that at all. If I have the choice. And, I do. Will I maybe do that shit again one day for someone? Yes, I'm suuuuure I will. I know me very well and I bet I do things like bake them cookies or knit them a scarf and stuff like that. But, I'm telling you they are really going to have to bring it and bring it hard. These fools I've been passing time with from time to time and on occasion are not cutting it. The dating culture I've witnessed so far- I am above it. I'm not afraid to say that and if you are reading this you should feel that way too. Dudes want to "hang out". I stopped seeing one guy (who hates me now) because he kept calling me "pal". Then the next guy I dated called me "pal" and I was like what is going on here. I ain't lookin' for no dang pal! I didn't put on this magical hair mask that makes my hair shiny to attract a platonic friend you fool! Steve tried to tell me yesterday I might have trust issues. I got a bit riled up, not unlike an old mad wet hen, and declared that I do not! Do I have trouble trusting Steve? Do I have trust issues at all with any of my friends or my family? I absolutely do not. I have trouble trusting someone who lies to me. I told him that and he was sort of like oh, good point. In my mind a weakling is someone who wants to hang out versus date, lies, calls me pal, plays mind games, acts aloof. Those are all signs of weakness to me. I (and YOU) deserve flowers, sincere compliments, dinner, romance, laughter, quality companionship, and respect. I'm not going to date a weakling. No, no, no. No way, Jose. Not when I, myself, have become so strong.

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