I Feel Like Blues & Cuss Words

The majority of my adult life has been pretty carefree and happy I think. One time I thought I had some kind of undiscovered disease that was the exact opposite of depression because I was so happy all the time. Well, lately life has been the pits! The absolute pits! There I’ve said it. I’m not happy and I don’t like that. And when does it pass and when do things get better and when can I have the happy disease again? Meh. Sometimes I feel like what didn't kill me never made me any stronger at all. Please feel free to leave a knock-knock joke in the comments below.

An Open Letter to the Assholes of Covington

First of all, put your shirt on when I'm talking to you. Quit throwing garbage in my yard WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? One of the 1st lessons learned at mother's knee is "don't be a litterbug, be a jitterbug & dance to your nearest garbage can". Right? Right, Asshole? Why, Assholes of Covington, is your bass up so high that it makes my walls shake? I think you are ridiculous. Assholes of Covington: don't whistle, honk, or yell perverted things at me when I'm cutting my grass. Especially if your bass is so loud that the ground is shaking. Because I am many things (sweaty, wishing I was inside eating a hamburger, bleeding from my shin), but horny isn't one of them. Just stop it. You are gross. Stop revving your motorcycles. It's a no wake zone, whatever that means. Finally, as always, don't light your children on fire. Love, Skipper

Good Date- About Freaking Time

I went on another date and it was soosososososoosoooooooosoos oso oososooso SO fun. I know I said I wouldn't talk about dating anymore, but, I knew I was lying when I said that. This'll be the last time. Really. (It won't be) I know the guy and we'd hung out a few times, but, I haven't seen him in 5 years. I remember the last time I saw him I looked at him at thought "This is a really nice guy. Too nice for me". Five years ago, a relationship was the last thing I wanted. Five years ago I was immature and only wanted to run around with my friends and being in a committed relationship sounded miserable and exhausting. I liked him, but,I felt like he was too good for me. I've done a lot of growing since then and I've been trying really hard to be a better person. I'm doing great at it I think! Now I feel like I absolutely do deserve a nice person. So..anyways...I got ready early, which has not ever happened before, so I was just sitting there waiting staring at my little brother, who was chillin' on the couch obnoxiously calm and relaxed. I've never been so nervous in my life. I got a text from Date that said, "I'm here". I thought that was weird and that he wanted me to go out to the car or something so I swung open the front door and BOOM! There he was. And I screamed and flung my arms about because he startled the hell out of me. Apparently my doorbell is broken and I didn't hear it ring. He was SO handsome! You guys! He opened the car doors for me. I have a theory that it is impossible for a date to go badly if they open the car door for you. It tells me that he is a man and is not afraid to behave like one and that is incredibly attractive to me. We went to schmancy din and the waitress had to come back like 4 times to take our order because we accidentally kept talking. The food was absolutely delicious and it was just the best first date ever! Hopefully there is a date #2. We will see I guess.